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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Grandma's memories

I took my kids for a visit with my grandma on Sunday. She was thrilled that we came and that my visit was to be followed by my parents' visit.
We took her out to lunch at the pizza store. After pizza we dropped in at the CVS where I printed some pictures for her of the family- me, my sister & grandma, my kids on their first day of school, my aunt (her daughter) and cousin (her granddaughter) with my baby- for her to keep in her room.
She was happy to get pictures and mentioned that my aunt always offers her the old photos from her house but that she refuses because thinking of the past is too hard. She told me that the pictures I just gave her are perfect for her since they are recent. She is really having a difficult time grappling with her new reality.
She is in an assisted living and has disconnected herself almost completely from her old life. Somehow she feels that this helps her cope. That in order to deal with her current situation she should not have keepsakes from her days of independence.
I would argue that the opposite is true. If she would allow herself to remember and feel like her old self she would be happier.
Of course end of life care is so hard and I cannot judge her or discount her emotions. I just happy to give her some new memories to bring her hope and cheer.

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